Prostaffer Steve Scaramastro’s latest installment of an ongoing mission to protect his home turf from the gray invaders….

Yesterday when I walked by the gun safe I heard a humming sound coming from inside it.  I didn’t think much of it at first but then it grew stronger and stronger until the exterior of the safe was actually vibrating.  I hit the combo, turned the handle, and when I opened it my Marauder rifle was glowing and humming like crazy.  I picked it up and it pointed to the backyard like a compass needle pointing north.  I just held on and followed as it led me through the kitchen, and back to the laundry room.   It led me all the way to the laundry room window and when I looked out there was a squirrel brazenly…BRAZENLY descending the tree closest to my deck.

This animal, this rodent, this…this VARMINT was encroaching upon my very home and the Marauder simply wouldn’t stand for it.  By the time I eased the window open and cleared the stuff off my rest (the washer and dryer) the squirrel had made his way back up to a perch and was casually eating an acorn.

One cycle of the bolt had a pellet in the chamber, I dialed my adjustable objective lens until his head was crystal clear in my scope, laid the crosshairs on his skull right between his eye and his ear…and pfffft.  The Marauder sent 14 grains of quiet violence downrange and knocked him from his perch….stone cold dead before his feet fell from the branch.

Satisfied with myself I reached up to shut the window but I noticed that the Marauder hadn’t calmed down.  The humming and glowing remained steadfast.  Then I saw the reason, there was another vermin in the yard.  I saw a flick of his tail near the tree house.  I leveled the gun again and waited for him to emerge from behind the tree. He poked his head out as he walked along one of the 2×4 rails of the treehouse…my DAUGHTERS treehouse!

Again the Marauder whispered, and again a squirrel tumbled lifelessly to the earth.  The Marauder calmed down, I thanked it for its vigilance, and then returned it to its rightful spot in the front row of the gun safe.

I awoke this morning to a peaceful, squirrel-free yard.

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